Have you ever been advised to stick to your first choice once you've made up your mind over something because usually the first choice was the correct one?
Not too original huh?
I watched a japanese drama not too long ago when an episode started by making the audience ponder:
Remember how we sometimes changed our mind only to realise that we should have sticked to the first choice later on? Just like in the old days during exams... After we have answered everything, there's always some last minute changes after a quick revision. Although in the first place we were pretty sure of our answer, after a quick look again before passing up the paper, we became a bit hesitant and usually changed the answer. Only after we've gotten the result, we would realised that we should have sticked to the first answer because usually the first choice is the correct one...
The exam paper anology was used in the main character's observation on how sometimes we made some decisions, had a change of heart, only to realise later on that the right decision was the one made earlier, the first decision.
It hit me then that I might have made the same mistake myself...
Once upon a time, I used to have a huge crush on this guy, V. He was of the right age, the right physical composition, and the right personality. Well-mannered and brilliant in class; a bit alim but with a good sense of humor; a bit aloof but he got along well with everybody. In short - someone I could like, look up to, trust, cherish and obey. People - friends and strangers alike - often described me as a hard-headed, strong-minded person. Guess there must be some truth in that - but I also knew that I wouldn't mind giving in to V. Coming from the obstinate me - that's rare.
And then, two friends from another class started telling me about this fantastic guy in their class - who at first caught my mild interest, which grew as time passed. When V did not seem to be interested, after being insisted by some friends, I finally gathered up enough courage to approach Mr second choice after six months of knowing him.
Err, things didn't work out well that way. After some time, Mr second choice finally decided to be just friends and we remain friends until now.
Coming back to V, at one point of time, he seemed quite at ease to chat with me and shared his stories of this and that. However, slowly and discreetly, for some reasons known only to him, he began to distance himself away. Nevertheless, we remained civil to each other.
I remembered one peaceful morning when an 'unsangkarable' thing happened. Back then, normally there used to be a few guys praying Subuh at the surau. And I seldom missed praying Subuh and Maghrib at the surau. But that fateful morning, V was the only guy present and I was the only possible makmum there. We waited and waited but no one showed up. As the clock showed almost 6.30 a.m., I decided to cease waiting and invited him to lead the solat. He did just that. His recitation of the surah was good, the movements were timely (neither too slow nor too rushed) and I liked the do'a too. I remembered thinking to myself, how pleased I would be should he lead my solat every day for the rest of my life.
Looking back, I couldn't help wondering sometimes, how things could have been different should I remained firm with my first choice...
But I didn't.
And so be it.
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